


Alternate Tales From the borderlands

by ConstantChoas



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Dude there is going to be violence, Face Trauma, Handsome Jack is a nerd, I Tried, I'm sorry if it sucks, Jack being Jack, M/M, My First Fanfic, Proper use of drugs, Rhys is under appreciated, SUFFER WITH ME
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:12:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9848543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantChoas/pseuds/ConstantChoas
Summary: The final fight for Jack and the vault hunters had not ended the way he had planned. Not in the slightest. Luckily for him, his company was in charge of one of the greatest innovations of the past millennia; the “New-U” station. Jack revives but he figures, his enemies didn’t have to know that… Time goes by and Jack is running the company under the guise of a boring seemingly nameless man, and it works to keep his secret safe. Jack has not a care or rather concern in the world, until a few of his underlings go AWOL with 10 million dollars for a... vault? Revenge? Obsession? Chicks? All that Jack is now worried about is if this mission is going to compromise his position at the top.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction. Ever. So when I say, "Criticism is appreciated" what I really mean to say is, "Tell me if you hate this or not how i can improve literally anything." The first chapter is Jack-centric and is more of a set-up of sorts. So with that I leave this burning pile of trash to you.

Handsome Jack arrived in his office after his last fight with the Lilith and that sad excuse for a “Vault Hunter” through means not predicted by him; The god dammed New-U station. At least he knew for certain he wasn’t dead. He knew because 1) Heaven wasn’t supposed to hurt 2)Hell didn’t look like his office 3) _Heroes don’t die_ . He figured it a the New-U station because of the blinding light of what could only be a digistruct followed shortly by searing pain sprouting across his new face. _Helios almighty_ , did he hated these things.

Sure he got to beat death and all, but the price he paid to do so was high to say the least. He received the rights for the tech from Dahl in the massive reparations for the invasion and “Zarpederps” stupidity. But it felt like a backhanded way to pay him back. Like, when would he personally use such a thing? Why would he have to? Dying wasn’t often on his daily agenda, unless it was for others (and they were meant to stay dead).  Plus if he did use it the side-effects were an _unpleasant_ reminder of Betrayal. However he did see value in the tech and kept it. The value being it would be much more fun to see bandits killing themselves over and over again, rather than just once.

Finally taking a deep breath while the burning across his face turned into a throbbing ache, Jack started his way down the hallway he arrived in. Jack was glad the last New-U station he had seen before that little debacle on Pandora was the one in the hallway just outside of his office. The hallway was barren. Not a soul but Jack himself, if you could even count what was left of his. Jack was somewhat thankful that there was no one around to see his biggest embarrassments; his defeat and his broken face. But at least he was alive and safe no less. Going from the crater of a goddamn volcano to the space station was like travelling from hell to the land of the living. Which made his office like heaven to him. He loved his office. the design was sleek, subtly elegant, and most importantly Handsome Jack Functional; With a library that also served as a place to airlock those conspiring against him, statues to remind him of his glory, a treasure trove with memorabilia of his conquerors, and best of all his desk fitted with a comfortable throne to rule from right in front of the huge window with the best view of the shitty moon he saved. One could say that this room was the like a reflection of Handsome Jack himself. One could also say that it was ridiculous amount of space for an office.

Stumbling across the room half blind, and bleeding a modest amount was not the way he wanted to enjoy his office however.

“Agh where the _fuck_ is it?” Jack was going through his desk drawer for his emergency stim-pack and mask. He wanted the pain to stop and lower the chances of one of his employees spotting him because, _hell who knows they could actually be competent for once!_

A relieved sigh falls from Jack's mouth when he finds what he’s looking for. An even more relaxed breath leaves him after he jams the stim-packs needle into his arm. At least now the bleeding stopped but that same damned mark remained. See that was why he _hated_ having to re-spawn not only was it shameful that he had been taken down by someone probably lesser than him, but he also had to re-live the placement of the vault crest on his face, well almost the visions that originally accompany it only show up in his dreams now and then but the incredible branding of his face was not that needed the unpleasantness of those visions to make it agony. Then scar it left in the aftermath was none too pretty either.

That was was why he decided on the mask. His was not as dehumanizing as others. It _was_ still technically his face, but it gave Jack an air of mystery to him that his “original” face couldn’t. Hell, Handsome Jack had caught wind of many rumors -flattering _and_ insulting- on the Galactic web, several of which were influenced by some of his underlings and their wild imagination.

“ _Attention Hyperion employees,_ ” the cheerful and sometimes seemingly smug voice of Hyperion came in through Jack's office intercom. _Huh_ he thought that he had it disconnected to any of the common broadcasts systems in the station but apparently he missed one…

“... _this is an urgent emergency broadcast...”_  No, not missed it would seem, but kept because it was actually _frick’in useful_.

“... _Handsome Jack, has been murdered...”_

“No shit cupcake”, Jack said to no one in particular.

“ _All Hyperion forces are to return and remain on station or risk death. Thank you.”_

Jack gave the room a puzzled look. Did they think he was like, _dead_ -dead? How stupid were they?

“ _That's it_ , when I get down there those little _insignificant_ peons are going to get packed full of so much lead that I could paint a house with’em!” He was Just about to stop his way down the hall when the doors opened up to reveal a single figure. The man seemed slight in manner as he slunk down the hallway, slowly making his way down Jack's office. Often looking at the elevator as he his behind the inlets of the windows in the corridor, that is until he hit the last, windowless part of the entrance where he just flat out ran into Jack's office, looking back the whole time.

Jack stood in the library, observing the skittish man until he was made note of. He skirted around the other side of the room, apparently looking for something. The man himself, was actually quite dumpy looking. Not in the way he dressed but in his face and posture; he looked a like a not-so-hot-mess. And Jack was pretty sure from where he was standing he smelled a little bit too.

Tired of waiting Jack cleared his throat. No response. Hard of hearing too it appeared. “AHEM..” The other man spun around so fast that he lost his balance and landed on his ass. Handsome Jack snorted, now that's the reaction he was expecting.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing in my office sweetheart?” Jack now leaning on one of his statues but a safe distance away. The man seemed calmed by the physical distance he kept unaware the true reason why was due to his bodies pungent aroma.

“ I… Uh..”

“Tick-Tock munchkin we haven’t got all day.” the man wasn’t actually short he actually appeared to be about Jack’s height. but compressed himself to be smaller.

“I wanted to find your mask” If looks killed (and often with Jack they did) that man would’ve be a corpse at that moment

“I’msorrysir-Its just… I’ve never been much of looker, and I figured that if I could sell it on the black market or something I could get enough money to I don’t know, buy a new face? A boyfriend? Or I don’t know fix this mess of a face I have.” Jack Squinted at the kid.

“And your first thought after hearing I was dead was to run up here and essentially _grave rob my office?_ ” Jack was seething now, clawing for his pistol.

“Nononono, I was sent here by the board to collect any recent projects still in here… and I didn’t mean to disrespect you I just figured it was the most valuable thing in the office I could get and considering this will be the only time I’ll ever be up here…” The kid was on the verge of tears, _and it was hilarious._

The CEO considered him for a minute or two, starting at the stinking man, and then an idea came to him.

“Alright Sir-sweats-a-lot, I’ll bite. Buut, you can’t have my mask. I’ve got something better and the result will be much safer than a black market deal. What's your name anyway kiddo?”

“Mark Clemens, sir.”

“So _clementine_ , I have a proposition for you; how about I send you on a little vacation, you get a little plastic surgery, invest in some deodorant, possibly change your name, you know the whole nine in the company vacation package, of course this all being under the pretense that you forget what you’ve seen here and take on a new name, and hell as a cherry on top,  I promise not to kill you! Hows that?” Mark nodded, he couldn’t see any downside with this deal for him, all of it seemed reasonable. Well as reasonable as a deal with Handsome Jack can get, sure there was that little bit of hurtful jab with the deodorant but it wasn’t nearly as lethal as Handsome Jack’s brand oh humor..

“ _Oh_ and you can’t comeback. For like, ever. Or at least until I get bored of being y-.. um er.. _generous._ ” Mark continued to nod but slower.

“C-can I take my cats with me?”

“What?!”

“Can I take my cats with me, sir?”

“ _Suuure_ take all the cats in the station if you’d like but first, let's get you scanned into a New-U station.”

 

* * *

 

Jack assumes that if the board members have noticed the slight differences he’s made to Mark’s personality that they are too pleased by the lack of horrible body odor to care. The past week was kinda fun for him, observing the entire station, in mourning over their great leader, well almost all of the station… The voice of Hyperion was as chipper as ever, but Jack was thankful he didn’t have to listen to another person sobbing, especially over the intercom...  Yes life was becoming a new sort of normal for Jack, but he was not happy with his position on the station. He wanted to be the covert dead CEO hiding as new CEO. Not the covert dead CEO running around like someone's _errand boy_. So the most logical thing he could think of to get back on top was to take part in the time honored tradition of Hyperion brand of blackmail, backstabbing, and murder to get what he wanted.

  
And that was how _Mark Clemens_ became the “ _new_ ” Chief Executive Officer. However, Jack wasn’t just doing this for shits and giggles. No. He had a strategy behind all of this. With this new identity, He could see how his closest _allies_ were treating his death, and watch his nemeses lower their defenses.  He still missed some of the aspects of his life before “death” so to speak but he kept his nose to the grind; managing the company and plotting death to his enemies. All was going according to plan... Until Jack caught wind of a Vault Key and his employees subsequently getting robbed blind and lost 10 million dollars.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo? Was it garbage? do you want to stop me before i write more? did it go on too long? let me know by commenting. Hope you have a great day and thank you for reading!  
> -TenseTactics


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